Author Archives: Emily

Attacking the Problem

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It’s official, I need to pull it together.  Before I even start this post, I want to apologize in advance if I offend anyone.

It’s normal (ok) for me to be pissed about the two years of my life I lost to my terrible teaching job.  It’s normal to be pissed that I keep having physical issues that hold me back from running.  It’s normal to be pissed that I had to have foot surgery.  It’s normal to be pissed – even though I very happily make sacrifices for the husband – that Adam’s medical school schedule means I can’t have a job right now.

BUT, and this is a pretty big but (man that’s 8 kinds of a pun!)

That anger isn’t helping me.  And my version of “coping” has led to the fact that my pants barely fit and I feel trapped and itchy in my own skin.  And the fact that I probably will not be able to finish my half marathon.  And those two facts make me far sadder and angrier than any of the other stuff.

However, I knew all this before.  Maybe not with as much clarity but these thoughts have all been brewing.  What caused them to bubble over today?

I saw a severely overweight woman in the library at school today and had a mild panic attack.  I seriously had to sit down and catch my breath.  That kind of reaction is clear indicator that I need to make my health a priority again.

Let me just add in here that I’ve always had a really strong reaction to people I perceive to be unhealthy or isolated.  I don’t know what that is about, I’ve never lost someone close to me due to unhealthy habits and I’ve never been unpopular.  Nonetheless, when I worked at Cold Stone in high school and severely overweight kids would come in with their parents I would go in the back and cry.

The main point here is that I think I’m finally realizing my reality (or something that sounds less Dr. Phill).  And I’ll be back tomorrow, in better spirits.

Stressed is Just Desserts Spelled Backwards

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We’ll get to my stress eating in a minute, first let’s back it up to this morning.  I had my first ChemII lab and quiz this morning and I was pretty nervous.  I might have gotten in bed at 10pm last night (go me!) but I didn’t fall asleep for at least another 1.5hours.  I wanted to do a bit of review in the car this morning so I made a nice portable smoothie –

1 frozen banana + frozen blackberries + Yoplait low fat Blackberry Yogurt + half scoop chocolate Amazing Grass + big pour light Chocolate Almond Breeze + small squeeze honey.  Plus, it matched my outfit!

The quiz went pretty well and I finished my lab procedure quickly enough that I had time to finish up my lab report before noon.  And I cracked away at some of my reading while I waited for Adam.  An awesome morning.  Until I drove home.

I HATE parking at our apartment!  It’s not a matter of getting a close spot (I really don’t care, I’ll happily walk) it’s that we live on the business section so 95% of the parking is $$$.  The areas that aren’t 1hour metered are filled with fire hydrants, drive ways, and other cars.  Arrrrrrgh!!!!!  I made 3 loops around the ‘hood to no avail.  I parked at Walgreens for a bit and walked around to kill time, not once, but twice.  Finally, 2loops after that, I found a spot that’s about a mile away from our apartment.  And I’m not even all that comfortable with it, I’m pretty nervous about getting a ticket.

And I tell you that fun story to explain why lunch looked a bit like this –

You can go ahead and assume I finished off most of that GIANT bag of chips.  Plus this –

Oh yes I am in training for a half marathon.  Ha!

After my crapfest (and a looong phone call with one of my best friends, who I’ll be staying with in Orlando in a month actually) I feel a little better.  I’d feel a lot better if I’d soothed my soul with some carrots but somethings just don’t work out.

When was the last time you ate your feelings?  What’d you have and did you regret it

P.S. Not surprisingly I have a bit of a tummy ache!  I’ll be back tomorrow.

Combos are Like Rocket Fuel for Studying

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I have my first Chemistry quiz at 8am sharp tomorrow (as well as my first ChemII lab experiment!) so I’ll keep this short and sweet.  I hate doing one loooooong post, I like 2x or 3x days better.

Breakfast was delicious.

The last small serving of carrot cake pancakes smeared with sunbutter and maple syrup.

And a Cara Cara Orange.  I think I’m in love!  This had such a perfect balance of sour and sweet and it’s PINK.

My appetite has been crazy lately and I was so hungry I wanted to chew off my arm within minutes of finishing breakfast!  The only solution was to make my favorite snack of all time –

Cedar’s pita chips with feta spread.  I finished off the feta spread today and I just might have shed a few tears about it!

I randomly decided it was a fantastic idea to watch Make it or Break it in the middle of the day, which meant that lunch was an on-the-go affair eaten during Anthropology.

Naked Red Machine Juice and an Almond and Cashew KIND Plus Bar.

Plus the snack of champions a few hours later in Chemistry.

Combos and diet soda are always a winning pair 🙂

Dinner-dinner was leftover Cocoa-Coconut Chili (1C serving),

topped with 2% colby jack, 0% Fage, and some jalopenos.

Yum!  This is much healthier than the jalopeno and cheddar nachos I was inhaling a while back but just as tasty.

The plan for the evening is to study a bit and make it to bed before 10.  I do NOT feel prepared, I got a lot of catching up to do before my two tests next week.  I’ll let you know how the quiz went tomorrow at lunch, hasta!

Are you a combos fan?  I dare a 90’s child to say no!

P.S. My inner-fatty wouldn’t stop screaming so I ate this snack while I studied –

I want to call bad lighting but it really did look like that!  (Approximately) 1 ripe banana + 2T 0% Fage + 1T sunbutter + cinnamon + crumbled caramel filled cookie.

P.P.S. I completely forgot to do a Fest Check-in

  • Food – pretty good, if I had packed an apple or something I could have skipped the Combos
  • Exercise – meh, I chose not to work out in leiu of studying but this ties into T
  • Sleep – if I actually brush my teeth and go to bed now (9:40ish) pretty damn good
  • Time management – sucessful people do not watch tv shows about teenage gymnasts in the middle of the day!

Carb Craving

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When my hunger did finally hit this afternoon it did so with a vengeance.  All I wanted was carbs.  We can just pretend I was carbo-loading for all that intense working out I do, cough cough 🙂

I had a bowl of Adam’s pasta topped with 2% colby.

And then a single-serving bowl of Frosted Flakes.

With some Kashi Go Lean Crunch to finish off the milk.

Around 5 we headed out to The Spot to do some studying.  I did dinner there.

Fountain diet coke and a Mike’s (egg and cheese) Bagel Sandwich.

I told myself that if I worked out once I got home (after 10!) I could eat a cookie, so I bought a cookie at the gas station on the way home to ensure that I wouldn’t shirk out on my work out.

I Netflix’d Crunch: Pick Your Spot Pilates.  I did abs, buns, and thighs for a 30minute workout.  As much as I enjoy this DVD, I think it is too easy for a “real” workout, I’m going to try to incorporate it more for stretching or mornings.

And now I’m enjoying this hottness before shower and bed-time –

FEST Check-in, Day 4:  Most of this is N/A since almost fainting is clearly never in the plans.  I am proud of myself for getting in a work out though, no matter how small.

What is your favorite kind of carbs?  Mine is definitely NYC bagels, yum!

Strange

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I can’t really characterize the last 12 hours as anything but strange.  Odd perhaps?  Either way, the food has been less than thrilling and I’ve got lots to do this afternoon so I’ll keep it quick.

Last night my raging sweet tooth ganged up with my cabin fever and used this gift card I received as a thank you for volunteering against me.

The husband was game, so we set off in search of a Tops at 9:30pm, for funsies.  We each picked a couple of items, but we made this bad decision together –

I had two, and they were delicious, but I’m glad the husband took the rest of them to school to share with friends today.

I had a weird toss-y/turn-y sleep last night and I felt pretty wrecked when I got up this morning.  I was too dazed to deal with breakfast and I ate this KIND Plus bar on the walk to the hospital for volunteering.

On my floor I was super thirsty but feeling ok for the first hour or so.  Then I started feeling super faint and I would not go away!  My head started swimming and I really tried to push through sitting down even though I felt like I was going to pass out.  But then my co-volunteer told me my face was getting super red so I did end up taking a break.  It was so frustrating!!!!  I’ve had similar experiences since high school and we’ve never quite figured out what the deal was.  Sometimes it seems to happen if I’ve gone too long without eating, sometimes if I get too much sun, and once a doctor said my low blood pressure might be the cause.  Either way it is inconvenient and embarrassing.  My ears start to roar and everything gets hazy and black and a break out in a cold sweat, although I’ve never actually passed out.  Has anyone experienced anything similar?  Any ideas????

Thankfully it didn’t get bad until it was almost time to go, so I pushed through and then staggered down to the lobby.  I slowly drank this bottle of regular Pepsi and the caffeine/sugar gave me the energy to walk home.

I have lots of studying and gym trip planned so I’d like to get lunch soon but right now solid food sounds kind of gaggy.  We’ll see.

random question – what is your favorite kind of potato?  I love sweet ‘taters, but the purple ones are pretty exciting too.

Walking Dead

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Ugh, it’s a good thing I made two home-cooked meals today because that is about all I did!  I felt like a zombie all afternoon!  This post will be a quickie because frankly I don’t even want to think about it.

Afternoon snacks: Stoneyfield Pumpkin Pie yogurt.

I searched high and low for this item all fall and then it randomly showed up at the grocery store the other day before disappearing again.  I finally got to try it and all I really have to say is meh; real pumpkin stirred into Greek yogurt is much better.

A heaping t Sun Butter.

And some Cedar’s pita chips with feta spread (YUM!).

Like lunch, however, dinner was a delicious homecooked creation.

Cocoa-Coconut Chilli from Eat, Drink, and Be Vegan.  In the year I’ve owned this cookbook this is the only recipe I’ve made and I still consider it a good buy!  The husband will not eat this (hence his pasta leftovers) so I only made a half batch this time.

Topped with a dollop of 0% Fage, some shredded 2% colby, and Siracha.  Delicious!

Dinner’s success didn’t distract me from the fact that my sweet tooth is annoyed with me and I am disappointed in myself, boo.  I’m going to go sulk, and hopefully get in bed before 10.

FEST Check-in, Day 3

  • Food- excellent!  Everything I ate today was homemade and healthy.
  • Exercise – zilch, although I feel like my body did need a day off.
  • Sleep – poor, per usual we stayed up, and slept in, too late.
  • Time management – terrible!  Who has a quiz in two days?  How much did I study this weekend?  Urk!

All I Need Are My Pearls

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I was quite the little wife this afternoon, making my husband a nice home-cooked lunch.  Actually, what I made was a big batch of pasta so he could eat leftovers for dinner the next three days but I’d like to think he still appreciated it!

I had a nice bowl myself for lunch while it was still hot.

My Arugula Brie Pasta is my improvement on this Real Simple recipe.  For six servings –

  • 14.5 oz box whole wheat penne
  • 1T butter
  • 6.5 oz onion, chopped
  • 1 bundle (8 or 9) green onions, chopped
  • salt and pepper
  • 3/4 cup dry sherry
  • 6 cup arugula
  • 9 oz brie, chopped
  • 1/2 cup skim milk
  1. Prepare the pasta according to box directions, drain and set aside.
  2. Melt butter over medium heat in a large skillet.  Add all of the onions and cook 3-4minutes, stirring occasionally.
  3. Season onions with salt and pepper.  Pour in half of the sherry and cook until reduced.
  4. Carefully stir arugula into skillet.  Pour in the remaining sherry and cook 4-5minutes, until reduced.
  5. When veggies are almost done, reheat the pasta pot over high heat.  Add in pasta, milk, and brie.  Stir to combine then cover for 3-4minutes.
  6. Pour veggie mixture into pasta mixture and stir to combine.

It was quite tasty, if I do say so myself. 

The only fail was our attempt at dessert.  While I was out running errands this morning I picked up a small piece of this Rosa’s Chocolate and Peanut Butter Fudge.

Yetch!  The husband and I both spit out our bites, it tasted like a piece of wax.

I promised myself I could buy another, less disgusting, dessert if I went to the gym so the likelihood of me working out today is pretty high 🙂

What was the last dessert that made you gag?

Sleepy Sunday

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We overslept (what else is new?!?) so waking up was a stressful, frustrating affair; but I tried to make breakfast as soothing as possible.

A serving of leftover carrot cake pancakes,

with 1/3cup 1% cottage cheese topped with a honey tangerine.

I’m loving all the citrus options lately!

I’ve got to get cracking, see you for lunch.

What is your favorite kind of citrus?  I enjoyed the Ugli fruit a lot just because it was so unique, but clementines top my list due to their lack of seeds.

P.S. Check out this girl’s first giveaway!