Question first – What is currently stressing you out? Think about it and really let it out in the comments, you’ll feel (a little) better!
I want to apologize for the on-again-off-again blogging schedule of late. I also want to be honest with you guys about the fact that I’m having a hard time. There’s not necessarily one big thing that’s bothering me, but there are a lot of little things that are adding up. I am 80% sure that I believe in fate, and I am 110% that I believe that any seemingly negative thing you go through leads you to a better place. But it’s still hard not to get a little freaked out by all the questions I have about the future.
Where will we have to move for Adam’s residency? What if Adam doesn’t get a residency? What if Adam’s chosen career means he’s away all the time and I’m lonely? Should we have kids? When should we have kids? Should I get pregnant next year so if that I don’t get a job right away when we move I’ll get to be home with the kid until it’s all sorted out? Should I wait to have kids until I’m established in my job? How do women with full-time jobs breast feed? How do you make an impression at your job if you excuse yourself every hour to pump and are also already 28 years old and starting out in a brand new field? What if I can’t find a job? What if the career path I’m on isn’t the one I want? What do I want to do with my life?
And to be honest, the above questions are only a snapshot of all the things I’ve been worrying about. It’s hard not to feel a little defeated when I can’t do anything proactive (at the moment) to answer those questions. Sometimes you just have to have hope/faith/optimism and wait it out.
Sometimes – like last night – you have to eat a veggie sub and a bucket of french fries and sit on the couch watching old episodes of “Family Guy.” But then the next morning you have to do your hair and put on your comfy-yet-sexy shoes.
So that’s what I did!
And in my comfy-yet-sexy shoes, I drove to school early and made my way through a big stack of school work. I haven’t stopped working since, and bit by bit, I haven’t stopped feeling a little better, a little more in control.
The theme for my meals today was – late. Breakfast was at 10, lunch was at 5, and dinner was at 9. My late breakfast was eaten in the computer lab while I worked.
Holy frick I love reusing containers so much I over-served Adam’s lunches for this week so that reused cheese container held a half serving he’d left behind. In the mix was penne pasta, roasted zucchini and yellow squash, sautéed mushrooms, spinach, diced tomatoes, marinara sauce, and a drizzle of olive oil.
It was yumtastic; I’ve been a good wife this week!
Also helping me get back my happy, clinic went really well this afternoon. We are starting to do SOAP notes and learning more about what RDs actually do helps a lot to relieve my anxiety. Plus, I screened patient who agreed to do another round of diabetic diet education. I can’t really say much about clinic (thanks HIPPA), but so far all of my patients have been really nice.
When we got back to campus it was time for late lunch.
Not cottage cheese*, another reusable. *I may not have been eating a very healthy diet lately but I have been sticking to the vegan challenge at least. And no soda for another 3 days either.
Continuing the citrus theme, I had a navel orange.
And a piece of dark chocolate for dessert.
When we got out of class at 8 I drove a friend home and then hurried to make dinner.
And a Sandwich Thin with mustard, roasted garlic hummus, and 4 oz of raw tempeh.
I wasn’t expecting much but this sandwich was goo-ood.
This post took me awhile to write, but it felt good to put it all out there. Thanks for “listening,” seriously. I’ve got a low-sodium diet education presentation tomorrow and I’m still riding a productivity high so I’ll probably burn the midnight oil today.
Hope everyone is having a good week!