I am back, officially! I promised some reflecting in the last post, as to why I was being such a naughty blogger –
I am freaking out a bit. About going back to school, about moving, about not having any idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. About only taking one class next semester, about that class being too hard for me. About quiting teaching. About going back to teaching. The list goes on, and there are a lot of contradictions.
It does not help that I am beyond exhausted, I don’t sleep well anyways and our new neighborhood is astonishingly noisy. In the interest of full disclosure, I will also mention that I am becoming very depressed about my foot. I’ve mentioned that I had plantars worts on my left foot (I am apparently with out an immune system!) and now instead of 3 I have 5. And I don’t have a doctor’s appointment for another month. And my foot hurts like heck and I’m afraid it will effect my marathon training.
From these reflections, I realized that I’ve been doing some self-sabotaging. I’ve been eating crappy food, not working out, not studying. I had planned on signing up for a week yoga pass (I have to do it now because once school starts my class is all at night) when I realized that I was dreading going. That is not the feeling I want to have, towards yoga of all things. I decided I will not do more than 5-10minutes of strength training a day until class starts, and let myself focus on volunteering and chemistry review. I’ve had a lot of big changes in the last month, I need to allow myself to deal.
Today, I ate an Orange Cranberry Gnu Bar sample on my walk to volunteering.
Probably the best flavor I’ve tried so far.
For lunch I used my volunteer voucher to get a cup of vegetarian chili, which I topped with cheddar cheese and jalopenos.
I love veggie chili so much, I have a list of chili recipes I am excited to make this winter. This was beyond tasty for cafeteria food, but left my mouth pretty spicy so I ate half a sample bag of Sahale Snacks Soledad Almonds Nut Blend.
This was a much more pleasant flavor to spend the afternoon with 🙂
After volunteering I walked back to a coffee shop in my area and set up shop for studying. As mentioned, I am taking one class this semester (Gen. Chem. I with a lab). To prepare I’ve been working on Chemistry for Dummies. I studied from 2:15 – 5:45 and while I worked I had an iced coffee – 1sugar, splash of cream – and the rest of my nuts.
The bag had 2servings, 260calories in total, and was just the right amount of munching to keep me focused.
Tonight I have some more to-do’s to check off (including putting away the laundry I did more than 24hours ago!) and I have a 10pm bedtime goal. See ya for dinner!
What have you been freaking out about lately?
Eating Chalk 
I’m freaked out when my daughter isn’t content! Do you need me to come up there? Find one of those quizzes where you count the upheavals in your life and get points for the changes (both good and bad). Yours would be HIGH right now. So really, it would be a terrible, not-normal thing if you weren’t freaked out! Right?
Mom – I am freaked out that you are still at school!! xoxo
i love that you momma reads your blog 🙂 so does mine. her comments make me smile most. looks like you are figuring yourself out a bit more every day and that is good! self reflection is important. and so are jalepenos in chili, mmm.
Emily! I second Mama Wax! Tell me if you want me to come up there for Labor day…. or you are more than welcome for a quickie break in Miami 😉
It is totally normal to be a little wigged out right now. You are going through some major life changes and I think you would be more weird to not feel a little crazy right now!
I regards to what I am freaking out about? Go read my blog post today @ Classroom Confessions because it is way too much to write about here, but today was NOT a good day 😦 New principal is an a$$!
Give yourself a break! You have had the most insane few months (years, really, when you think of your last job). Maybe you need a few weeks to decompress!!
I’m proud of you for not going to yoga when you realized you were dreading it!
Hi there, I can totally relate. I’m working full time and going to school part time and am going to be moving in a week (not across the state, like you though). Just yesterday I was asking why I was going to school and contemplated not doing it. I realized that I’m doing it because I’m bettering myself and nothing that’s worth doing is easy. It really is true. Its easy to sit still and not progress, but its hard to better yourself. You’re not alone and things will get easier. I find that making a schedule and plan (like you have) is the best way to deal! Good luck chica. 🙂
Hang in there! I went through almost the exact same situation (s) as you are, last year. Although I freaked out for the better part of a year – I made it! You will too, just pamper yourself. Also, “To-Do” lists made a big difference in my life. I used to put stuff like “brush your teeth”on mine, just to remind myself to take it one step at a time and to feel a sense of accomplishment when I crossed it off the list. You can do it!
Sorry about all the personal stress (I know how all the teaching stuff is – I quit teaching too – I was so stressed, but 3 years later – it’s the best decision i ever made!) – hang in there! 🙂
that veggie chili looks AMAZING!